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Tuesday, April 04, 2023

Stephen Colbert Takes a ‘Mug Shot’ on Donald Trump’s ‘Arraignment Eve’ - The New York Times

Stephen Colbert Takes a ‘Mug Shot’ on Donald Trump’s ‘Arraignment Eve’

"It’s unclear whether Trump will have a mug shot taken, Colbert said, “but here’s my mug and I will definitely be doing a few shots.”

Stephen Colbert, in a dark suit and green tie, pours a shot of bourbon into a coffee mug.
Stephen Colbert brought out a bottle of bourbon for a few celebratory shots ahead of former President Donald Trump’s expected arrest in Manhattan on Tuesday.CBS

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Colbert Takes a ‘Mug Shot’

Stephen Colbert brought out a bottle of bourbon for a few celebratory shots ahead of former President Donald Trump’s expected arrest in Manhattan on Tuesday.

“One question a lot of people are asking is: Will there be a mug shot? Well, I don’t know about of him, but here’s my mug and I will definitely be doing a few shots,” Colbert said, calling Monday “Arraignment Eve.”

“How are we going to explain that to our grandchildren? Hopefully in the book, ‘Donald and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad N.D.A.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“What if he goes to jail? He could end up the head of a violent white supremacist gang, but in prison this time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Tomorrow, the moment the world’s been waiting for: He’ll head into the D.A.’s office, where he will receive a booking number and be fingerprinted. They won’t even have to use ink — I’m pretty sure there’s enough ketchup on there all the time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (Reverse Spring Break Edition)

“Today, ahead of his scheduled arraignment, former President Trump flew from Florida to New York and landed at LaGuardia Airport. Yep, he was smart — nothing helps you ease into prison like spending time at LaGuardia.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yeah, Trump flew from Florida to New York, where he’ll soon be arrested. He’s basically doing a reverse spring break.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Trump’s got to provide a DNA sample, which, if you think about it, that’s kind of how he got in this mess in the first place.” — ROY WOOD JR., guest host of “The Daily Show”

“The upside with Trump’s DNA? Now the NYPD can probably solve a bunch of cold cases from the ’80s.” — ROY WOOD JR.

The Bits Worth Watching

“The Daily Show” correspondent-turned-guest host Roy Wood Jr. spoke with Ron DeSantis’s education adviser while leading a class called White History 101.

What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night

U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”

Stephen Colbert Takes a ‘Mug Shot’ on Donald Trump’s ‘Arraignment Eve’ - The New York Times

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